There is no such thing as a technical virgn

This was an abstract issue to me. I had an opinion on it -- not the one I had when I was a teenager -- and I knew what the Bible said on the subject, which was also not what I had believed as a teenager. Then somehow my daughter became a teenager, and suddenly it was a real concern for me.

Let me put it as clearly as I can: there is no such thing as a technical virgn. If you say there is, you're a liar.

If you've done everything with someone other than that one thing, you're not a virgn, technical or otherwise. In fact, if you've done anything with someone else involving genitals, you're not a virgin.

It's not that God hates sex. He doesn't; in fact, he came up with it. His first command was to tell two naked people in a garden to get it on. As my eighth-grade science teacher, Mrs. Sockwell, put it, God made a way for us to reproduce ourselves, and he made it fun.

The problem comes when we try to separate it from its context. Sexual pleasure is meant to be enjoyed by married couples not by sweaty teenagers. If you've given it to or received it from someone you're not married to, you're not a virgin, no matter what a little piece of skin might say.

God is less concerned with your body than with your heart.