A man wakes up in the hospital. "Doctor," he says, "I can't feel my legs!"
"That's not surprising," the doctor says. "I had to amputate your arms."
They say that the first thing to go is your memory. That second thing to go is your memory.
The Pope decided to kick all the Jews out of Italy. Before he did so, he gave the Jews one chance to stay. He would debate their greatest rabbi. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. If the rabbi won, they could stay. Unfortunately, the two men didn't share a common language, so they decided to make it a silent debate.
The day came, and the men sat across from each other. The Pope made a circle in the air with his finger, and the rabbi jammed his toward the table. The Pope held up three fingers, and the rabbi held up one. The Pope set some bread and wine on the table, and the rabbi pulls an apple from his coat. Finally the Pope stands and says, "I give up. The Jews can stay."
When asked what happened, the Pope could only shake his head and answer, "He is the greatest theologian I've ever met. When I make a circle to say God is all around us, he pointed down to remind me that God is here with us, too. When I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity, he held up one to show that there is only one God. When I put out bread and wine to remind him of forgiveness, he pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin."
At the same time, the Jews were asking the rabbi about the debate. "First he said all the Jews all around here had to go. I said we're staying right here. Then he said we get three days to leave, and I said 'Up yours, Pope!'" Then they asked what happened next. "Who knows? We broke for lunch."
There. Isn't that better than me getting mad?
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